Let me start off by saying I'm married. It'll be 7 years this year. My husband is a wonderful man. When I was in middle school and high school I had 1 boyfriend. I loved him more than life itself. we would go to each others houses for games and movies, and on Fridays I'd watch him play high school football. He was my first love, my first kiss and my first lover. We talked about getting married and having children. We even picked names for our future babies! We were together for a long time and then one day he told me it was over. I didn't get a reason or anything. I was devestated, I cried for hours. A waited for him to come back for years. I knew he had married and had kids but I still wanted him back. That never happened and I got over him, so I thought. There isn't s a day that goes by that I don't think about him and wonder what it would of been like to still have him in my life. When I was pregnant with my kids I'd have dreams that I was carrying his baby. ( I had several pregnancy scares in high school). I know he has changed for the worse. He can't hold a steady job and he's a womanizer. I know it would never work but why can't I let go? Any ideas or advice would help!!