Hi, I know you've already gotten a lot of advice so I'll try not to be too repetitive.
Your relationship with your mother reminds me a bit of my relationship with my father. I cut off all contact from him because he always made me feel awful. I had never been close with him as a child and even less so when my parents got divorced. After their divorce my brother resented me and treated me a lot like your mother treats you. We get along better now that we don't live together, but whenever I feel self-conscious part of me blames him.
Your relationship with your mother sounds really difficult and I understand the confusion and pain that comes from not loving your own parent. It's good that you're acknowledging the poor treatment though and that you're still setting goals for yourself. Also, it's important to take the bad with the good. You're lucky you have a good father, even if he can't replace your mother.
Someday your relationship could be different. My great aunt is sweet and loving, but she was a terrible mother. Her own daughter once went running after her father's car, begging him not to leave her alone with her mother. Some people aren't meant to have children, I think. Just stay strong and put in your time. In two years you'll graduate and eventually have your own family
