The infatuation chemicals stay in our bodies 6 months to 2 years, at least that's the current understanding. ( My own guess is some people keep them just about forever or never) You haven't gotten it, he has. You sound like you are making a considered choice, which is in keeping with the cultural imperatives you were raised with. This has worked, sometimes very well, in a closed society where there isn't much mixing of genders. What happens if you eventually marry this man, having never had the infatuation rush and meet someone that you do get it with? The other side of this is that you may slowly develop deep feelings for him, you are still finding out.
It's after the initial "rush" subsides that you find out what you really have, but that rush is powerful and can be compelling. Some of us only get it if we are "available" emotionally. That is the case for me. In that case if you are committed and your needs are met, there is no temptation. But have you had this experience? Do you know how you would handle it?
Stay up front with him. You've been together how long? Once his infatuation subsides he may no longer be able to tollerate your inability to match his affection. Is he willing to stay the course and see how you feel in 6 months? Are you? Is there something in you that holds you back from loving or is it this specific man?
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We can only learn to love by loving.
Iris Mudoch, British writer
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