confusedbyhim

My BF and I have been together for 3 yrs.He had broken up w/EX 1 yr before we got together

.For the first 1 1/2 yrs we were okay and last year she started showing up and bring problems.

She was crying to him all the time and saying she wanted to kill herself and that he had ruined the best years of her life.

He felt bad and told me that he was confused that even though they had their problems that he wanted to make sure that he didn't have feelings.

He said he liked us both. They dated for 5 yrs no one that knows her gets along with her.She did some pretty crazy things too. Well I let him go.

He is 41 yrs old,I am 30 yrs old and she is 35 yrs old. They were never married and no kids. His family and friends don't like her because she has faught with them at one point or another.

Well he tried things out and one day calls me and says he wants to talk. he says that he really can't have a relationship and but that he knows that him and her will never work. He said he knew that I am awesome in every sense of the word (physical,morals,ethics w/his family w/friends) but that he doesn't want any commitment.

That was last year in october.Then I find out that he started seeing her again. It lasted about 2 weeks and then he came looking for me again. I told him that as a friend I couldn't understand it but as an ex even less.

It seems like we have strong feelings for each other but it seems like he breaks down to her.Then in November he left her up until July of this year.

Things were great! We were getting along even though she was calling he would ignore her or gently tell her to please not call.BUT...july was her b-day and the pressure was on. I was surprised he did not give in, then in august his b-day came aroun and again he did not give in. About 2 weeks ago she called that she was going to kill herself and crying....he went to her rescue.

We talked about it and I kind of gave in to him then a few days passed where they didn't talk but then she called him saying she was having problems at work and that they were his fault....he gave into that also only for 1 day and then was back telling me oh sh eshowed up banging on my door.

This situation has made me really insecure when he doesn't pick up the phone I assume immediately he is with her even if he isn't. I do drive bys just to check. Mind you he still says he can't have a relationship.

Then if I confront him he tells me that he will do whatever he wants. He says he doesn't want her or love her.....she calls at all hours I think just to be a pain.

My friends say he loves me but that now I have to put my foot down. he says he doesn't know how to get rid of her.....but yet he gives ion sometimes.

What do I do? He treats me like a wife and her his mistress of once a year or so but thenhe says he wants no relationship...how do I handle this?

Today we fought because this morning I called him and he didn't pick up the phone so you know what I assumed. Monday I told him that maybe I should walk away until he resolved his issues with her but he told me no that he knew he didn't want her.

But today he said do whatever you want. PLease help.