Women's Health Support Forums - View Single Post

**jnd2009** · 11-04-2009, 01:16 PM

so sorry I didn't get back on sooner than planned. long weekend.....
...anyways
The open relationship idea between my boyfriend and I has not been thoroughly established. The main problem is we cannot agree on details of who it would be with, and how it would happen. He would rather me be around during his 'action' (not going to happen, I'd get jealous/think it's weird), and he at least wants to know who I get with (I was raped when I was 16 by someone I knew), so he says he's concerned about my safety.
The original idea was his. He, as far as I know, has no specific person in mind. Yes, I didn't care for the idea, until the whole thing with this guy at work got stronger (no feelings, just flirting)

So to answer some of the input-- (and sorry if I repeated anything I already wrote)

As far as him being married, the guy and I both have talked about it, and he knows the situation mostly too. We both are on the same level as it's only fun sex, nothing more. I have no feelings for him at all, other than remaining friends. I do not see myself ever dating him.

Yes, it started as my boyfriend wanting this, but since then I actually took it more seriously.

The best we came up with (my bf and I), are a 'one person, one time' thing. So we can each get what we want and be done with it. We gave each other "permission", as long as it was my best friend. If he chooses someone else we'd may have to change it. As far as I know they have not done anything.
We've been together since I was 17, he was 20. He's also told me that if he doesn't do it now he may want to down the road- with or without telling me (with any girl). He also said with the experience of someone else, we can bring new tips to the bedroom and how he can please me better (which he is perfectly fine in that department).

As far as my best friend, every person has told me that- that our friendship and possibly our relationship would be ruined. Maybe I'm hard-headed, but I really honestly don't see that.
Yes, my best friend is single. The guy who's married, he said with his wife there's no chance of her in an open relationship. From talking to him, they rarely have sex. He "loves her to death", but when asked, he says he has no idea why he's married.

I don't necessarily know how to handle this situation I guess you could say. Basically because my end of the situation has already happened, and my boyfriend's is still more of an idea. I have mixed feelings about it because I have no intentions of leaving my boyfriend, but with this other guy it's just sex. That's it. It means nothing other than fun.

I think I've covered most of it... anymore questions feel free to ask. I can't exactly talk to friends about this, so any input is appreciated. I apologize if anything was confusing too. Lastly, sorry if I've stepped on anyone's toes, especially on the 'he's married' factor.

11-04-2009, 01:16 PM	#6
jnd2009 VIP Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 58	so sorry I didn't get back on sooner than planned. long weekend..... ...anyways The open relationship idea between my boyfriend and I has not been thoroughly established. The main problem is we cannot agree on details of who it would be with, and how it would happen. He would rather me be around during his 'action' (not going to happen, I'd get jealous/think it's weird), and he at least wants to know who I get with (I was raped when I was 16 by someone I knew), so he says he's concerned about my safety. The original idea was his. He, as far as I know, has no specific person in mind. Yes, I didn't care for the idea, until the whole thing with this guy at work got stronger (no feelings, just flirting) So to answer some of the input-- (and sorry if I repeated anything I already wrote) As far as him being married, the guy and I both have talked about it, and he knows the situation mostly too. We both are on the same level as it's only fun sex, nothing more. I have no feelings for him at all, other than remaining friends. I do not see myself ever dating him. Yes, it started as my boyfriend wanting this, but since then I actually took it more seriously. The best we came up with (my bf and I), are a 'one person, one time' thing. So we can each get what we want and be done with it. We gave each other "permission", as long as it was my best friend. If he chooses someone else we'd may have to change it. As far as I know they have not done anything. We've been together since I was 17, he was 20. He's also told me that if he doesn't do it now he may want to down the road- with or without telling me (with any girl). He also said with the experience of someone else, we can bring new tips to the bedroom and how he can please me better (which he is perfectly fine in that department). As far as my best friend, every person has told me that- that our friendship and possibly our relationship would be ruined. Maybe I'm hard-headed, but I really honestly don't see that. Yes, my best friend is single. The guy who's married, he said with his wife there's no chance of her in an open relationship. From talking to him, they rarely have sex. He "loves her to death", but when asked, he says he has no idea why he's married. I don't necessarily know how to handle this situation I guess you could say. Basically because my end of the situation has already happened, and my boyfriend's is still more of an idea. I have mixed feelings about it because I have no intentions of leaving my boyfriend, but with this other guy it's just sex. That's it. It means nothing other than fun. I think I've covered most of it... anymore questions feel free to ask. I can't exactly talk to friends about this, so any input is appreciated. I apologize if anything was confusing too. Lastly, sorry if I've stepped on anyone's toes, especially on the 'he's married' factor.