it is SO hard getting people to change if they themselves will not take the first step towards change. You really cannot motivate your mother until she is ready... as terrible as that sounds!
My SIL is quite the same.. she lost within a 6mo period a brother and his two children all to suicide. She doubled her weight, will barely get out of her pajamas, let alone get out of the house for fresh air and exercise. She smokes at least a pack of cigs a day. She says she needs to change, but refuses to go get the help she needs. It is a never-ending cycle of depression, self-loathing, self-pitying, more depression, and repeat.
It is so sad to watch, but there is nothing that can be done until she makes the conscious decision to make that first move. She knows she has to do it, and she knows we are all there for her, love her, and will be there to support her and help her if/when she makes the decision to change her life. Until then, we wait.
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Most of the shadows of this life are caused by our standing in our own sunshine.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
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