Wow, I'm sorry to hear about all this. Sounds like the two of you are in a very tough spot.

I guess I would suggest making an appointment with a counselor so the two of you can talk openly about it and hopefully work through it. Most counselors are hard to get in to though so you'd have to call ASAP. If you don't have insurance, there are plenty that offer reduced rates you'll just have to call around.

I would let her know that you are willing to talk about it whenever she is ready but don't push her, considering that's what got you into this mess.

Have you drank since then? It may be a good idea to give up alcohol for a while too.