Thanks FreeSpirit. I had thought of that a while ago, the testosterone being low, but when I mentioned it he did kind of shrug it off, insisted he was just stressed and tired. We do have a good dialogue about what goes on in the bedroom when we're out of it, which makes it easier. Maybe I should mention it again and now after the chemo it would be something he would be open to. Also part of me thinks I'm having these thoughts in almost an exaggerated response to the stress, but I don't know.

Hotdogg - how would I feel if the situation were reversed, you ask? If for eight years I turned my husband down 80% of the time for sex? I would imagine he'd be cheating on me, that's what I would think. Why would I divorce someone whom I love and adore on every level except for this one issue? The thought of 52 more years of marriage with sex once a month or less is overwhelmingly depressing.

And I know this sounds like a cop-out, but I do really want to talk about it with him but I feel like the stress we have been under is so great that I don't want to give him something else to be upset/depressed/stressed about.