Well HD, I'm not sure if you're slow or what, but I didn't come here looking for the "all clear" or thumbs up.

If I had anyone to discuss it with rationally, I wouldn't be here asking strangers for advice - you're judging me with lots of venom based on something I haven't done and may never have the nerve or guts or desire to do.

I never said I wasn't going to tell him, either.

You hate people who cheat; I hate people with bad grammar.

Wilhelm - I don't think its unforgivable to cheat. I know a few women who have forgiven their husbands for infidelity. I would forgive my own husband for a fling (and we've discussed this alot) because of the life we have built and because we have a family. I can torture him enough staying married to him , I'm not going to financially punish him with lawyers and alimony and child support. But I don't think a man can forgive a woman for cheating, which is a ridiculous double standard but I think you're all hardwired that way.