Not everyone views "cheating" the same way. I would not be particularly upset if I found out my wife was cheating - assuming she was being safe. She may have done so - but other than a mild curiosity it just doesn't matter to me.

I know that for some people the thought of a spouse cheating is devistating - but not for everyone.

In my opinion, if your spouse is not meeting your sexual needs, you have a right to look elsewhere. This is not done to "punish" the spouse. I think it is even healthy, otherwise you may come to resent, even hate your spouse for limiting you happiness. How does your sleeping with someone else hurt your spouse?

I know this is an extreme minority opinion.