I've called and talked to him several times. Once I accused him of having other affairs and he said that he did. Later when I brought it up about having to tell his wife because of her health he denied it. One story, then another. Every one is tempted with ****** things. In anger I wanted to make out with his wife while he comes in. That's WAY foolish and vengeful, not to mention I'd hate myself for doing it. I'd be like them. They just don't get it though. They really don't. My wife walked in while I was on the forum and freaked out because I closed the browser. She thought it was porn or who knows what. I told her I had unanswered questions and that I wasn't getting any answers from her. She then asked who I was emailing. I told her I didn't know the people or where they were from and she seemed OK with it. She told me to write down my questions and she'd write down some answers. I may not know all the reasons why, but I'm hesitant to do that. I just don't trust her. So what if she answers the questions- you know? Her first answer as to why she cheated I think maybe was accurate. She said "It's not like I'm some bad person or something I love him and he loves me. I don't know, it's kinda like a porn addiction or something." I kinda freaked out about it. I knew he was using her. I knew what was going on with him probably better than she did from talking to him on the phone. I didn't want to call it like I saw it but foolishly still insisted that he didn't really love her. To me if you love someone- you're loyal and sacrifice for them. You work through struggles together and their needs are as important as your own. He used her and dumped her twice. That's not love. That's being a player. A married player of the worst kind. Initially it was a lot easier to be mad at him and blame him because I loved her. After talking with him and constructing a time line I can see that she initiated the affair and the oral sex not him. She seduced me when we were dating and I think she likely preyed on him this go around. He has ten years on me and makes more money than I do. I think that motivated her some. She always talks about cars that are $40K+ come to find out that's what he has. I'm still finishing my senior year in college. Having a baby, buying a house and working two jobs so your wife can stay home with our daughter slows you down in school. Not to mention makes it hard to buy a new luxury car. His wife worked to put him through school without him having to work. As well as I've done to accomplish what I have, through the struggles that I've had and all with zero debt except for the house I think is pretty good! We have more than anyone I know that's doing what I'm doing.