I lost custody of my children about 4 years ago. I was young and just gotten divorced and I went wild and had my life in a mess. I will be the first to admit that I was not the best mother, but I don't really feel like I deserved what I got. He didn't deserve them either, he was no better than me...just had more money! God used this difficult time in my life to change my heart and open my eyes! I am a completely differant person now! I am at peace with God and myself...I have learned to forgive myself and the people who hurt me the most. I hope to one day regain custody of my kids, but I see them as much as possiable and everyother weekend! Sometimes it is hard...Especially when I am home all alone and it is so quite...or when I lay my head down at night, sometimes I think of everything I did, and all that I have missed, but you can't change the past...but you can change now. Only God can change a person to the core! I have never known the peace I have now...I know that I serve a God that will not give me more than I can handle...He gives me strength and courge...I am a Mother, those kids are part of me, they grew inside of me, God gave them to me...Nobody can take that away.