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Serena has a very shallow mouth, almost impossible
to take a dental x-ray as the film insertion caused
her to gag.
She married George who was the archetypical abuser,
going through the 'text' book steps one by one;
emotional/intellectual/segregation/spiritual...and
adding sexual.
Sexual abuse is one of those areas which is usually
lumped in with physical abuse. But it should be dealt
with in it's own category.
The idea that once a woman consents to marriage she
gives a blanket consent to all forms of sex on demand
has been overruled by the House of Lords in England.
Marriage is not slavery.
A woman can exert authority over her body.
Most women don't.
Most women don't because of the fear...
"If I don't (fill in) he will get it from someone else."
This mentality does NOT belong in a mutual relationship.
It is better confined to slavery or wage slavery or some
form of competition.
The thought that:
"If I don't (fill in) he will get it from someone else."
Suggests a relationship in which the female is the property
of the male and must 'please' him at all costs dare she
be 'sold south', or 'fired', or 'rejected'.
This idea of woman as property of the man exists not
just in Saudi Arabia, but in the United States.
In the case of Serena and George he demanded oral
genital stimulation, (blow jobs) and began to strike
her when she gagged.
She left the marriage due to his abuse, the punches
he gave her when she gagged, the final straw.
But the fact was, that at the inception of the relationship,
when it was clear that Serena had a very shallow mouth,
if George had loved her, even a little, he would have not
demanded this form of 'pleasure' because his 'pleasure'
caused her great discomfort.
The hallmark of an abuser is when he requires some sort
of 'tribute' which causes the victim to experience discomfort.
Like forcing a wife who is afraid of the sea to join him on a
row boat, the mere contemplation suggests a non-mutual
relationship.
George became 'addicted' to blow jobs because his wife
could not give him what he wanted. He could have easily
paid for the service elsewhere if it were so important to
his life, but he did not. He needed Serena to perform, and
when she gagged, she was 'punished'.
Serena was fortunate in that her ego had not been so eroded
by George that she felt 'unable' to leave.
Most abusers are not as artless as George, they put more
effort into the personality erosion before moving to the
physical abuse.
By destroying the personality of the victim first, the
result would be Serena feeling that she 'had to' please
George instead of pulling back and thinking, 'what am I
doing here with this guy?'
Many abusers enjoy sexually abusing their victims
because it is one of those 'complicit' arenas.
Wife, afraid that
"If I don't (fill in) he will get it from someone else."
tries to perform as best she can, never reaching the
stage of; "Go and get it from someone else."
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