12-02-2007, 07:09 PM
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Guest
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Adultery is not a one size fits all and never was.
There are a lot of reasons for it, some don't
make sense. Some people can not bond.
They just can't.
They change their friends like their shirts
and have no ability to even think...'my wife
is home expecting me..' when some gal wides
out her leg.
Often women don't realise that a man who changes
his friends or who has no friends has a serious problem.
For example;
K has friends he went to school with. Most of his
good friends are of two decades length. Some he
'just met' ten years ago. He has a family, he is
close to them, and when he has a girlfriend, she
is his girlfriend. He's not interested in other women.
When he doesn't have a girlfriend, he plays the
field and has lots of different women. None of
whom are his girlfriends; just dates.
L has no friends. One will see him with someone
and the next week, someone else, and he just
doesn't keep friends. He has little contact with
his family. Like K he will go out with different women
who are just dates. But unlike K, L might have a
wife at home.
When he is out, he forgets about his wife.
He might like her better than his dates,
but the idea that she is to be his one and only
doesn't have any meaning to him.
If one marries K one expects faithfulness and any
adultery would be so out of character and so traumatic
that one would have a whole drama around it.
If one marries L, one can expect a great deal of
meaningless affairs.
Some women have ceased to love their husbands
and couldn't care less what they do, as long as
they don't even think of having sex with them.
They stay in the marriage for property or because
of inertia. Some have their own lives on the side
as well.
So it depends on how adultery strikes you. When,
where, who, how are important.
Some women can forgive, some can't.
Some will leave on a suspicion, others
will stay while he dies of AIDs.
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