You are really hurting. I have the sense that you feel you have nowhere to turn. Weird, I don't know where I am going. For you and I, we come here and let things out not just check things out. If that makes sense. For me I have felt so alone. Even in some relationships. And totally alone now which is how you feel in your marriage. You have lost much of yourself taking care of your husband and that void needs to be filled by him. You are a team. Everyone around me (society) is my team and frankly, most of it depresses me.
If I can be bold here. It sounds like he is not showing physical attraction to you. If he is real weak, can he do other sexual things to you to show you he cares?. I am a man and know some day my time will come when I may spend way more time doing oral because I may not go as long. Before all the drugs I think couples had to be more creative. Doing lots of reading lately and realising more and more just how much some partners give every last bit of body and soul to their partners. Not just in the bedroom. I think you have. It came to me so powerfully recently that I want to just open my soul to a woman. I believe that is the only way to unlock the chains of being a man. Just a few thoughts. Sorry for the other guys nasty posts. You have your needs but they are directly connected to your heart. That is something people should not be reckless with. I ask myself all the time; "Why am I here?" (Not just this website but in the world) One answer that keeps coming to me more and more is: Because I am dying from a empty and broken heart. Trying to fix mine, I hope I could help heal yours even for just a moment. I hope this small note shows that I hope your heart gets filled with love and joy so you can be whole again. Take care Ladylane.