Sounds like my thirteen year old...We've had some big arguments over the state of her room and her hygiene. She just doesn't 'get it'. And she just started her period a few months ago.... I told her that if she drops anything on the floor and doesn't pick it up, I automatically have the right to confiscate the item and do with it as I see fit and she can't say anything, because I warned her. As far as her hygiene, she's in middle school now and I warned her that kids in middle school won't 'mince words' when it comes to body odor or bad breath or anything else that is 'foul'...and she will be embarrassed. Things are slowly getting better. I agree that some kids are like that and you have to just stick to your rules. You can make a 'date' to help her clean up her room once and for all. After it's cleaned, set some rules...I read a while back about drawing up a 'contract' where you outline exactly what you expect of her as far as her room and hygiene are concerned. She goes against your rules, take something away or take away a privilige...you decide the consequences. Also reward her for keeping things in order...start with one week at a time. And rewards could be as simple as time baking cookies with mom...I know my kids would love that as a 'reward'. It can drive you crazy, but hopefully with time (and patience), she'll see that you are serious and she'll do better.