my niece is 12 now and has similar problems with cleanliness, and i mean in all the ways you say your daughter is. I live with her and she always confides in me and what she tells me is '' being afraid to grow up" shes afraid of leaving being a child.she knows her body is changing and it scares her. i feel bad for girls going through this. i have two boys and they are 12 and 4. my eldest hasnt really gone through it yet, the arm pit odor. it may just be she may need some one on one time with mom to explain how its ok and that shes not nasty just growing up, and its a good thing not a bad thing. She doesnt really probably understand just bad she does smell. believe me i know cause my niece smells too. and its hard to tell her that cause i know it hurts her. But its time now to be a tween, getting ready for those teenage years. my advice is to encourage her to bath more often, even if its just a sponge bath to wash her private parts, but to let her know shes safe with mom and dad. That this is puberty and every girl goes through it.