12-24-2007, 01:07 PM
|
|
Guest
|
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by Searching
Thank you so much for responding. It's good to know that you went through the same thing, and now have a husband that loves you.
It's not that I can't make friends, that I can't socialize with people. I do all the time. My choosen career path is one where I must socialize. I simply have trouble maintaining and developing these personal relationships. To keep myself from withdrawing or learning to trust. I think it all must boil down to confidence.
Thanks again for your thoughtful post and for sharing your experiences with me.
|
I can identify with these two posts.
I grew up as 'one of the boys'. I could
play ball better, ride my bike faster,
do everything that boys did. Being
one of the boys one hears what
the boys have to say.
And what they say about girls is not
pretty.
As I was also a nerd...(imagine an
athletic geeky nerd if you can)...
I was not going to be one of the girls
that the boys talked about.
When I was asked on a date I could
fix myself up like a model, really
gorgeous, and we'd go to some fancy
place, and then on the way home
he'd start with the 'lines'.
Well I knew all the lines, so would
repeat them back to him, and add the
next line, which of course annoyed him
and then, enjoying my 'drama' do his
voice and then my voice, and then say,
"Well, we've got that out of the way,
now...(and I'd ask him his opinion on
some nerdy/geeky topic).
Well, you can kind of see the whole
idea of romance was shot to smitherines,
and I thought it was so funny.
I went out on hundreds of dates between
the age of 18 and 21, and we are talking
not about 'first base', we are talking
about three fast balls and a quick out.
I got married when I was twenty two.
I didn't miss anything.
You are not missing anything.
You are not wasting time.
Everyone I knew when I was 19 - 22
had trailer loads of baggage they
carried with them.
Affairs, broken hearts, betrayals,
songs that would make them cry
when they remembered, dramas when
they saw their 'beloved' with someone
else, on and on and on.
I had no baggage.
I tried to explain to my kids, but of
course they didn't listen, so my
daughter got to go through all
the dramas in the world until
she finally married at 26.
What did she 'learn' from all her
romances? Nothing. Not a thing.
In fact, it took her a few years
with the chap she would later
marry to get her head around
everything she had inflicted on
herself and dispense with her
baggage...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|