I am sorry but this comment about your daugher immediately made me feel that you are attacking your daughter for making you feel uncomfortable about how she is growing up, if she stinks (as you put it) maybe she needs alittle more advice from her mother instead of resentment.... it almost sounds like your jealous.... talking about her dirty panties ???? It comes across that you just don't want anyone else to see that of her, if you were a single mother you would never even think twice about that...
I have a 13 year old girl and i have a 6 year old girl, and my older has body odour and so does all the other girls, boys in her class, i have even talked to her teacher who will relay that holding her nose is a daily practice.... because all kids go through this, so your daughterr does not have to feel alone... it is natural for kids becoming young adults to go through this change.... maybe you need to re-go through the change and remember you smelt too at one time...
I am sorry if i offend anyone with my comment, I am just trying to understand why a mother would feel so ashamed about her own, ( and i think only) daughter...