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I don't treat my daughter like sh**. I love her and will die for her...for all my kids for that matter. I don't tell her in a mean tone, "GIRL YOU STINK, GET AWAY FROM ME". OR "OMG YOU ARE NASTY AND STINKY WHAT THE IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" I am with you when you say the home should be a safe place and not a place of resentment. My point is a home should also be a place to rear and guide your child down the right path. When I tell her she stinks, or she's not fresh, I say "Baby, you gotta a lil stinky stink going on." Or babe, how bout you go get in the tub...it's nasty to walk around like that." If kids in this day and age are going to talk about a less than fortunate kid that might not have any water to take a bath or a kid whose parents are barely getting by and can ridicule them to no end. What makes you think they won't talk about a child that has the necesseities but still walks around like a stink bomb. My daughter probably has every product that American Girl makes (the line at bath&body works), but it sits unused on her dresser. She has sprays and body glitter and, yet it sits. She cries when her brothers tell her she smells, or get mad at her if they run to the bathroom and she has her used pull ups on the floor and they step on them squishing pee all over the place. She went into a slumber because the cheer squad demoted her from the top of the pryamid because as the coach put "The girls said they can't tolerate the smell". She is 10 and that was 10-12 year old girls telling her she stinks. She stayed in the girls bathroom all day because a boy told her she smells like onions, why don't you momma buy you some deoderant (she prob has all the beautiful smells). After each incident she will clean herself and her room but it lasts maybe a week. We have asked why, she doesn't like to clean her body, she says she doesn't smell it. Took her to a ENT thought maybe we was getting to the root of the problem, nothing wrong there. She can smell. She can see. She can do.
I tell her she is beautiful, take her on just mommy and her days. We go get out nails done, we go shopping for cute, frilly clothes, we go spend MOTHER & DAUGHTER TIME. I don't want to hurt her. I want her to prosper and be the best that I know she can be. I don't degrade her. I allow her, her privacy to a degree. But when I feel I need to use my parental rights, then I am going to do that. I don't hit her, I don't yell and scream obsencities to her. I try and talk to her. That's all I've been doing, and buying products she's not using.
So, what you all (dragonfly and pointblank) are saying is that maybe I should shut up and let the kids and the teachers teach her about self esteem. Because they will, but they WON'T sugarcoat it like moma or daddy. They will strip her of her self esteem and any self confidence that she has.
Am I suppose to just let her grow up or am to "TRAIN UP A CHILD IN THE WAY "SHE" SHOULD GO AND WHEN SHE IS OLD SHE WILL NOT DEPART FROM IT."
I don't want her to get older and let's say God forbid she doesn't change from her ways and she gets embarrassed by a dr, friend, classmate or whatever and try to come back to me and say why didn't you teach me these things.
Think what you want, everyone is entitled to their own opinion. But I KNOW I am not demeaning, or being a cruel, unattentive mother that does not wish my child to grow up.
P.S. My husband and I both wet the bed when we were younger so she got it honestly and we are waiting patiently for the day that she out grows it.
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