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**metalbudderfly** · #2 01-11-2008, 01:50 PM

hey swee2886,
wow it must be frustrating for you to go through this. i don't know how well i would be able to handle this type of situation. what his mother has to eventually realize is that you and her son have your own lives seperate from her. sure she can come over to visit and what not but maybe there needs to be some boundries set. you could discuss this with your honey and explain that there has to be some rules set. i know it's his mother but she can cut the cord now he is what, 26? he doesn't need to be diapered anymore. explain to him that this behavior is disrupting your home life. it really isn't none of her business if you gained weight, what you eat ,how you keep house all that she should be concerned about is that her son is happy and healthy. my mom had a hard time letting go of things for a long time i'm an only child also she even lived with me and my hubby for a long time. it was very hard to deal with so i had to be honest with her about things i didn't want to hurt her feelings(hard to get around that) but i explained she did a great job raising me but it was time for her to go and live her life and let me live my life. yes she was bored and lonely for a bit but she got lots of new friends and has her own little condo now and evrything is on the up and up. it did take time but things got better. my mom had to finally realize that she cannot involve herself in my marriage or personal life like she did when i was a child. she knows if i need her advice or opinion then i will ask her for it. i only involve my mom personally to the extent i want her to be involved. his mother has to accept that her child has grown up and now it is time for her to move on. maybe your partener might make some subtle suggestions to his mom like her getting involved in some sort of social group or some sort of hobby. well i wish i had the answers for you. this can be a touchy subject.....good luck.