I am sorry to hear you have had to go through something like this, you should have a support team of family and friends around you for one, especially since the father isn't around. It seems to me that you are not only dealing with the lose of your baby, but the lose of your partner in a short amount of time. it is only my opinion but I feel it's important that you seek professional help, after two years of trying to on your own it sounds as if you are dealing with extreme depression over this, which is difficult for many many women, but you shouldn't have to go through it alone, and sometime when we get in that pit of despair we need the extra help to climb out. Your not crazy, you just need the support. This is a great forum for that as well. please seek medical advice about why you are having difficulty conceiving because sometime it can be over come, and if not, alot of times it is easier to accept if you know the Why's. And definetly talk to a Greif Councilor, This can't bring your loved ones back but it sure can help to teach you how to cope day to day.