Let me start off by saying that I am sorry for your loss. Be it recent or not, the pain never fully goes away. I went through it myself, 3 times in the past 6 years. I will not go into the details, because they are irrelevent and I do not want to bombard you with my memories when yours are are still painful. My point is I can understand how you felt at the time and how you are feeling now.
I do believe that you should seek counceling... Maybe not the meds, (they can tend to make you feel worse,) but you need a person that you can talk to. Someone who can help you sort out your feelings.
Just know this, (if you choose to ignore counceling,) YOU WERE NOT AT FAULT!!!!!! It was not something that you could've changed, and it is not something that you should feel guilty about. We are here for you, unprofessionaly of course, but we can give you what help and support we can.
Please take care.