Quote:
Originally Posted by just4me
Thank you to both of you for your responses. Your right about everything you said. I know he manipulates me LOTS and he used to have me believing I was the one manipulating him. Its taken me along time to see him for what he really is. Now I just have to keep convincing my heart of all this. I also know if I stayed friends with him it would always give him that opportunity to have his foot in the door to gain me back. He has done this so many times with so many different women. But he had me convinced I was the one and I was different and I had finally changed him...yeah right. Then he cheated on me and thats just the one time I know about. I want to take my heart back now, mend it so I can find someone who will treat it the way it deserves to be treated.
Its been 3 days since I've spoken to him, but I know him so well he will have so much more to say to me before to long. Now I have to step up and be strong and ignore him, totally. Its hard for me but I'm going to do my very best. I guess its just like with anything else, one day at a time.
Chandler, you said if he didn't stop I could tell his wife. And that has crossed my mind too. If it wasn't for his 2 boys I would. Also he keeps telling me that the other lady he cheated on me with is out of his life and I've had a hard time buying that because she actually lives in the same town as him, not 8 hours away like me. I have her email address and have contemplated emailing her so many times to tell her what he's like but all my friends and family so no don't do that. They say I shouldn't hurt another person just because I have been hurt. And I gave him my word I wouldn't do that either after I found out about her. And though he isnt a man of his word, I want to show him I'm a lady of mine.
It's taken me so long to find myself again and I'm still working on that everyday. I do want to learn my worth and love myself again. I have always been a strong person and a "take no ****" from anyone. I feel so guilty for what I have allowed to happen with this man. But as a friend told me, its not your fault for what he is and what he does but it is your fault for letting him continue to do what he does to you. And she is right, so its time for me to stop letting it happen and stand up to him.
NOW time for my heart to follow my head on this one and pray I can stay strong. Again thank you both for your thoughts.
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Well i won't disagree with you on not hurting someone's feelings, however, your instinct would be correct that he is still seeing her, otherwise he would not have made you "promise" not to tell her and i guess i was only saying "threaten him" him that you would just to have him stop calling you.
If the wife doesn't know then she is blind, or in total trust of something he doesn't deserve. You know the old saying, " what comes around goes around".
If either ever ask you though i would tell, as they are asking and need closure for themselves.
I still think changing your number is good, as you don't have to see that missed call and put yourself through i can do this.
Best and best of wishes.
Don't beat yourself up either. I am not saying what you did was right but the fact that you know that, i would be pretty confident that it would now be a once only, never again situation and we all learn by mistakes.