Quote:
Originally Posted by just4me
What I meant by typing for days was all the **** that has happened between us. And your right it wouldn't change a thing. It is hard for me to let go because of things that he and I have shared but I am trying my damdest to do so. I have been married before and even with my ex I didnt enjoy sex very much. For the first time in my life I opened up and enjoyed the heck outta sex with this man.
When I first read Caroline's post I cried because I thought it was harsh, but after I reread it, some of it is true. I tell myself I'm not in love with him anymore, maybe I'm trying to convince myself to much.
I have a 10 year old son whom I love with my whole heart and soul and I have to be there for him.
I just want the pain and hurt to go away, I want to come out of this a stronger person and a better person, not a loser.  |
What you could type for days and days, is what you miss "period" not with him but with the love you so desperately need for you and for your son. Hate to tell you this, but it's so normal.
Sexually therefore as well, you miss the intimacy and as your married live there wasn't any good you are recalling all the great sex you had.
But, he's not that good in bed either, he's just excited over all the mistresses he has and the "power" he has over them and he thinks he's king d......c, lol. So, obviously, he will perform much better as his confidence level is on a real high. Plus you wouldn't see him all the time as you would with a man whom was yours, so when you do you miss him, ( or so you thought ) and he would have this huge grin on his face " hi darlin" missed you, which actually means, " i can't wait to f... you, been waiting for me have you "... Sexual excitement plays tricks on our minds if we are not mindful of what we are thinking...
I disagree actually, you are ready to move on your just going through the motions of doing it, it's natural so don't cry.
Those who aren't ready to move on fight back but, but, but, you are not fighting back, you are continuing to believe you can do this, of course you think you have feelings, but they are feelings of wanting love, not him and that's the hurdle and the only hurdle you have to jump. "
Keep" telling yourself you are not in love with him because you have to in order to believe it"...
As i said in my first reply to you, as Kaylar has also said after, "change your phone number". Take away his opportunities to manipulate you and then he can't... ( I know manipulation remember )
You don't have to move address, sure you can jump the fence ...lol. You can get a "peep hole" in your front door if you don't have one though so you therefore answer to whom you want to come inside and whom you don't but he won't travel 8 hours to see you if you ignore him. He'll travel if you answer that phone and start saying i'm confused, i do love you but, and i need, but, and go away... etc. Then you've given him hope to keep you in his herum.... so do change that number.
You'll be suprised once you don't speak to him for a couple months the difference you will feel.
As i said, you are only seeking what all women want and men for that matter, love between two people only and haven't succeeded yet in finding it, re-read my advice from your last post to me on husband/finance there...
Go get em just4me, keep going down that path... he's out there!!! Love you first and your son and watch from that, they'll all run to your door and you can take your pick and find a nice one.
Just tell yourself, after a while of not being able to communicate with you, he'll find another one....because you know that is true.