I am so glad I started this thread. I have learned so much from what everyone has posted here. Fallen thank you for sharing with me/us. I find your experience so similar to mine.

I found out about all of his other conquests because I caught him having a online thing with another woman back in 2005...duh me I forgave him. But the women he was talking to is now one of my best friends and the shocking part is we are just alike. I don't know why I say that is shocking, my therapist says he seeks out women just like me. And he is right he does. From all the women he has had affairs with are alot like me. Not only in looks, but also with their hearts. We are all very giving and give him all of us. He seeks out women with low self esteem for whatever reason they have it. And he plays on that. Now I do know for sure that I am the longest affair he has ever had, so that makes me feel that is because I was the most niave...maybe.

My therapist says its like he has a sense for women just like me and thats how he gets what he wants. I have heard it all, that I am the ONE for him, I am his soul mate, he has never loved anyone the way he loves me, not even his wife, he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. I have heard it all. And as I said I fell for it completely and totally.

My friends say girl,,you have never been a person to take sh*t what are you doing. Heck I've even asked myself that, don't know why but I did it.

I agree with Fallen, it takes 2 to tango. And for people to only judge the women is totally unfair. I DID NOT pursue this man. He pursued me. Yes when I found he was married I should have ran away, but hey we don't always do whats right in life. There are memories I have of him that I do cherish and that may be wrong of me because of the circumstances but I do. See I had never met a person that I was so compatiable with. We had so much in common but then again that could have been part of his game too.

See I found out in 2005 what he was like and I still stayed...maybe I am glutten for punishment. But NOW I have opened my eyes and see him for what he really is. Even if he came to me tomorrow and said look I am divorced here are the papers it wouldn't matter. Because I know he would cheat on me as well...heck he did. And that is just the one time I know of.

I will grow from this and I will make it. My heart hurts but I know that to will heal.