03-26-2008, 07:56 PM
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Guest
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I was having a conversation, in a similar vein
with someone who is just getting his head around
the fact that his children have no use for him.
And he realised he was now 'as free as a bird'.
It was one of those fabulous Epiphanies, in which
a person's entire countenance changes, the view
they have of the world changes, and like ten tons
of weight fall off their shoulders.
When you have children, no matter how old they
get you feel 'responsible' and you feel you have
to try and keep trying to please them and not
embarrass them.
My friend had been phoning and visiting 'working'
on a relationship with his son. Fresh eyes could
see that the kid was like; Why don't you die and
leave me your property?
Of course, he couldn't see it, until last week.
And now he realises that the estrangement is not
an entirely bad thing.
He is free to go/do/be whatever he wants.
He owes no one anything.
He lives in a major city and realises that he
can go to any play, movie, museum, show, that
he wishes, without 'permission', without feeling
that if he buys himself a new computer he's
'denying' them.
My view is if children decide to write their
parents off, or to put their parents in some
box somewhere; well that is their choice.
Fine.
Bridges need two sides.
If you reach out and they pull back,
you step back.
You have to live for you, you have to make yourself
happy. Your happiness can not depend on another's
mood or attitude, or permission.
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