Quote:
Originally Posted by CarolineWH
I refuse to get in the way of other people giving you advice....Here I am at a disadvantage...It is called age and their advice is called youth....Saying this I will add one thing...
He was married and our affair ended before I was married...It was hot..It was as sexual as yours, but not full intercourse..He awakened the woman in me that was to show her face and brought alive a part of my p*ssy that I never knew was possible...I craved what he did to me...It was heaven and sometimes I questioned what kind of a woman I was being engaged and letting this older man have his way with me as you did with your old lover...Only when a woman has been in this situation can they speak of it...Many here can't but you and I can because we were both brought sexually alive and found a place of the God's....How can they speak of heaven when they don't know how it exists...
I married and our marriage would not have made it unless I got pregnant. My mind was so confused by this man and what he did to me as a woman that I could not think...I just about lost my sailor and until I quit in June at 6 months pregnant, I did not begin to find myself.. For a while I would look for him when we passed that direction and it was not that I did not love my husband it was that wonderful sexual hold that he had on me. It did take a long time...
Now my dear, you have been awaken sexually like I was...You have been given a gift by the God's to show the true woman in you...Now you know what it feels like to scream the passion of hunger for another person and the true joys of sexual happiness.....BUT he belongs to another...You have to let it pass....It will take time but let it pass....
In time you will remember this as part of the maturing woman who you are, but in the meantime be kind to yourself and cry when you have to cry and smoke when you have to smoke and value the lesson in life that you have been blessed to have....And always remember he is not yours, he belongs to another.....Honey, I send you all my love for I hurt for you as I know where you are.....xox Caroline
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Caroline, thank you so much for all that share with me. You truley do help. You, Chandler and Fallen have helped so very much. I value all of your opinions and words.
Your right he does belong to another and whom ever else he choses to pretend he is "in-love" with at the present time. I will get past this, I just have to be patient and hold on-to my strength.
When I feel the need to cry I let it roll, unless I'm at work, haha. No smoking though, I have been quit now for 7 months now and I refuse to even let that idiot drive me to starting back. But I do hold onto the lesson and the reasons for all of this. I know it was done to teach me certain things. Though not always pleasant, it did happen.
Life can be a hurdle and I have to take in strides, as we all do. I have found more strength as the day has gone on, and tomorrow will dig as deep as I have to keep it...and the day after and the day after. I have accomplished alot by going 12 days, tomorrow 13 by not talking to him. That is huge for me and I am so proud of myself.
I pray for you and your hurt as well as my own. I pray for each of us that share on here. You all are in my heart now and my thoughts. Much love to you too Caroline xoxo...