HI, everybody. Please, help me to understand myself. I can watch porno, when i am alone and it's hard sometimes to stop - i like it.

But when my man looks at another girl or tried yesterday to watch porno with me and start touching me - i went crazy, i do not want any sex, any touch. Am i jelous?

I do not know - more angry at myself as i think it's my biggets trouble in relationships. After this i have problem to get naked even when i am alone, i am closing up completely and hate any touch to the point i am scared physicaly hurt another person.i hate myself. It is not his fault.

Is it in my head? I an trying hard to an analise my past - may be something happened to me, that trigging this effect. I have to go to the same bed with my best friend, with my man, whom i like alot, but to ask him not to get close again? How long he will stand this?

Please, talk to me, somebody tell me something. I know you are not Samaritans, but, please

Thank you