It is important to use a really good lube that does not evaporate too quickly. Once it becomes dry, that is when you start to get the irritation. You also want to use one that isn't sticky. It could also be his pubic hair or yours (if you have any) that are contributing to the irritation.
I do not know off hand of any numbing lube. I think there are some out there they may have a cooling effect similar to mentholatum. That might feel good on irritated skin. I would definately avoid the heated types in your case. You might try a search online for numbing or cooling lube.
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~Jessica
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