I don't know whether he would have asked her to do that as 3 in the morining to me is more like she was thinking about that conversation and decided to send a text.

I am also not sure if something "was" going on, but if you take this scenario that she sent a message well past the time she finished work, early in the morning, perhaps she has made a concsious decision on her own.

Now that you have mentioned to him the text message, he will probably ensure there are none for you to read.

The trust has been broken and that's a hard thing to get over as he is not really answering you, " honey, i know it looks bad but, ....." rather just denial.

If you want to see where it goes from here, that's your call and yours alone, perhaps see how he reacts to you, if a message still comes through in your presense.

He may not have cheated but was in the throws of doing so and i guess you need to ascertain where this relationship is heading anyway. Is there something to save and or was it over a long time ago and you stay because of the time factor, the fact that you both have developed a friendship within that relationship and it's hard to walk out on that.

I wrote myself a list of the pros and cons on my relationship, then a list of what i could do if i could, to change it. But, for me, you can't change a person and you can't change forms of abuse so my step was different than yours, but i still evaluated it anyway.

CW