It's been awhile since i've posted because things have been all up in the air for me. I made it 15 1/2 days with no contact with him and then on April 1 he called me outta the blue. AND there opened up all my feelings again. Saying all the things he knows to say to pull me back in. How I am the best thing that has ever happened to him and that it scares him, how he has never ever felt this way for anyone before and he can't stay away from me no matter how hard he tries. BUT when I ask him about what he wants and what he's going to do its he doesn't know. I was doing so good and now I am mixed up again. I feel awful again. For 2 weeks I was getting back to who I am and in one phone call he made me re-think everything all over again. My heart says one thing and my head says another.

Please don't get me wrong I know I can't be with him, but my feelings are over riding everything else. I am hurting so much right now and I am so confused. Everyone says follow your heart but i'm not even sure what my heart and my head wants me to do anymore.

I know its all more manipulation and whats going to happen again. I hate this and I hate feeling like this. I was doing so good and now I feel like **** all over again. My bf says I know its hard because you love him but you have to stay away from him for your own benefit. I know she is right. But its so easier said than done. My heart is hurting .