So, if you have read my original post you know I have been completely dismissed by my previous man, yes a married man I believed would divorce and I was silly to hold out and wait for it to happen as I became more and more miserable. He ended it by inviting me to a public fast food place for lunch, small talk, chat, laughing etc... then I ask why so distant and ask for serious answers. Regardless of details, summary I was dismissed so he could concentrate on trying to fix his marriage full time said he "couldn't do 2 relationships any more." I didn't expect him to and he knew that, I had been telling him he needs to be honest with her if he ever wants to heal his marriage but he of course refused. He made the choice to keep everything a secret and not say a word. Humiliatingly after 2 YEARS with me, took him that long to figure out to improve his marriage he needed to remove the mistress.

I was cut off at that moment, things got ugly, we parted, I called his house in sheer anger and asked for him, long story short that was the last I heard of him obviously, his wife I have NO idea what she even knows but that is the point and 1/2 of what is driving me crazy with sleepless nights of insomnia - a routine situation in my life for a long time. I feel amputated without the details of "what the heck just happened?" 2 years, gone in a few minutes, a huge fight, he said he never meant for me to hurt like this was the last words he says to me, then I get a text after I called his home asking for him saying I ruined his life and hoped I was happy. Anyway, I want to heal from all this but the part about the quick exit, and no discussion in private about things, and no contact whatsoever since, and I don't even know if he's continued to minimize everything - I feel he's just somehow minimized what we were and for how long, and she is feeling actually sorry for him like I'm some disgruntled admirer. If you read my earlier posts you realize I am battling also Borderline Personality Disorder which plays into this... part of that plays out in not being able to let go of relationships and being unable to let go of the constant negative and confusing thoughts that go over and over in my mind.

How can I possibly move on if I don't have more closure thanhaving my 2 year relationship severed over a lunch and never to hear from him again. He lives very close, which makes it worse. The not knowing, then not discussing, the no closure thing is just killing me. How am I going to heal again? I'm desperately sad and confused and can't contact him at all or things will be even worse. So I sit and wait for his contact, I am very scared he will never contact me again or clear this confusion of why he handled things this way and what that 2 years was between us. Please give me your insight, please don't condemn me. But also vote in the post.... do you think he will contact me again soon or not. This happened just 2 months ago.