If you start out defining what you are, doesn't that limit your ability to change? You might start out your career wanting to be a high level executive at a big company - fancy cars, big house. Then as time goes on, you discover that you don't like managing / controlling people, and are actually happy doing your own work and doing it well, and leaving the control to others.

I've always thought that one should find the things that they are good at, like doing, and are good for society - and spend time doing those things. For relationships find out what you like - and be willing to change your mind.


In the same way, you may imagine a serious loving relationship, and a stable family with 2 kids and dog, a station wagon, and a house with a white picket fence. Then you gradually discover you like excitement, even if it has its ups and downs, that you don't really like kids, want to drive a sports car, and live in an apartment in midtown.