04-28-2008, 12:14 AM
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VIP Member
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 30
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kgo
My boyfriends mom doesn't housekeep like my mother, and it drives me crazy. I live with my mom and her mom and they are both very "clean" people".. I don't mean that we have no clutter, we can be messy at times but if someone is sick in the toilet it's disinfected with bleach and then with Lysol. I've picked up on these traits and am almost OCD with them. I have to have 4 pieces of toilet paper on a public toilet before I can sit on it (and that's a VERY VERy big emergency) and if I go to a restaurant I have to drink out of a straw to avoid touching my lips to the glass. My house is spotless in the sense that there is no dirt on the floors, everything is always wiped down and cleaned after it's used - even if it doesn't look dirty. I usually stay at my boyfriends on the weekends since we live an hour away but when I'm at his house it drives me crazy. They have 5 animals and there house is just not as clean as mine. If things are dirtied (someone is sick, an animal bleeds or throws up) it's not cleaned up very well. There is a lot of clutter, dust, dirt and stuff everywhere. I can't even go in the basement or I take to sneezing non-stop! Dishes are not rinsed off before they are put in the sink and they are the type of people that don't wash their hands before they prepare a meal, and they just let food touch the bare counter/table even if it's not clean. I feel horrible about myself for being so 'judgemental' and I feel so so bad about not liking going out there, because they are good people but it just makes me all panicky that there are so many gross things. They just never ever clean! I can't bring it up with my boyfriends, I feel way too guilty. I'm pretty good at school and stuff, sitting at the desks that other people do, I just try not to think about how many germs are on there - I have my good days and my bad days, but I can't ignore them at their house. I mean, how can you set food on the same surface that you use to put your feet up that have walked all over the dirty floors? Am I way too obsessive over germs or am I being a high maintence b*tch? I'm so worried that I'm being a terrible person and over reacting.
Ps - I wasn't always like this, but when I got bacteria poisoning and was extremely sick for almost a year I started becoming obsessive about washing hands.
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Looks like what was originally a good habit of cleanliness turned into an obsession to some extent. I think you have valid reason for concern with the cleanliness of the food prep and the dogs if they don't clean up and they are indoor dogs. Yet there is another side of this... You can be responsible for yourself, antibacterial gel in your pocket or purse, whatever is okay with you, but if someone else in your life is opposite in the opinion of your views, if he disregards what sounds like real fears to you and you feel like you aren't being respected for something you may not mentally have the strength to maybe not a desire to change to his way of thinking it sounds like trouble for your future with him. I would suggest personal counseling, if cost is a concern often there are free services if you research a little, but don't magnify the situation by focusing on it all the time. Find out what is the healthy thing to be concerned about in this situation through professional help, then hopefully if you share your concerns and things you have learned with him, he will be empathetic. If he laughs at you and belittles your actual real fears or the fact that you are trying to find a balance with this issue, then he's not being very kind. Lastly, I wouldn't play his family habits against yours and do the who is right thing. This isn't completely a right wrong thing, it's a respect issue and a healthy body / mind issue really. Take Care!
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