PS - Thanks for the perspective - also I do regret freaking out and calling his house. It honestly was primarily to reach him, but it was that I was soooo mad I didn't care who answered. I did not tell her details, didn't admit anything just was inappropriate in asking where her husband was, and when she said she didn't know I repeated back to her "you don't even know where your husband is?" She said no - then asked if this was Mary - that is NOT my name. Talk about a blow to the ego. So she suspected another person was calling her. Well, you get where that took my mind - suspect he may / probably was flirting if not in another relationship when she said that. However my email name does have a kind of rhyme with Mary and more to it so maybe that was her guess was my name was Mary so I figure if that's the case she already really knew about me but was searching for more proof to throw at him. Anyway, I am trying Anonymous... to be dignified in this. It's hard after you "lose it." It's a huge uphill battle to even want to be involved with a man again. Not because I'm a man hater at all, I just feel so drained from loving and being severed from that person. It just hurts so much I don't know if I can give myself in whole in that trustful way in the future. But I'm hopeful, this is a process and maybe the healing is coming. Any insight is appreciated, your posts are quite a different perspective so I like to hear the different sides to things. Thanks again, Sincerely, Miss U.