Dear A.W.F - Who ever told you that life was meant to have good without any bad, or health without any sickness, or life that was everlasting on earth A.W.F.? God allowed this situation for me to reach out to him, God allowed terminal illnesses in this life - who lives and who dies is not our choice - nor would we as humans and screwed up as we are be able to figure out who should live or die a what time. We all die, it's everyone's fate. The circumstances are merely different for some than others. Who told you God "makes everything happen" anyway? God allows natural outcomes of the harsh aspects of life in everyone's lives. Why some people have larger burdens than other's is something our limited minds wouldn't even begin to fathom I doubt. We all have pain and sorrow in our lives, no one told us any different. Why did my brother drown? Why did my mom get cancer, why did my grandmother die of cancer in my arms, why do I have a mind that has "faulty wiring" where the chemicals affect my moods and behaviors?

Why is not our problem, and you of all people I would think would be an advocate of stop asking why, stop blaming, and that means God also. Life is merely life, a gift, hard or difficult, long or short. In between birth and death is the mystery of who we are and we ourselves do not even know how we were put together or what actually holds this earth and galaxy in place. Your opinion of if God exists, as obviously you I expect are agnostic, or atheist... but whatever your opinion, it does not change the face that we, are human and we all have our human experiences and reactions to both the joys and sorrows of life.

As to the "clutching at straws to make yourself feel better" comment - that is pretty "high and mighty" if you mind the expression People have highs and lows, sickness and health, experiences that we have been through that make us stronger and some of those we pass on to others to encourage them that their pain is not so uncommon and the desire to feel "unalone" in a situation is normal. I dare say you have probably asked for opinion or help or insight here yourself. You ask for help in other's opinions, as i do also, however I also ask for prayer because it is something I believe in and my faith is "my crutch" as so many people like to put it. Crutch - certainly, a crippled person walks with a crutch, someone provides that crutch. God provides my means of "walking on." Believe or not, that is not my concern to convince you anything. But it is my concern that you step back and allow people to heal and ask for help with the help of others who share similar faiths.

I hope you find out the whys of terminal illnesses, pain, suffering, and all the evil destructive things that people do to one another or that can happen due to disease or disaster. You know, maybe people die because God really just wanted to spend time with them, his creation. But you probably wouldn't believe that. I don't have all the answers, but never claimed to, so you not knowing all the answers either, I'd appreciate your not commenting if you just want insult what is obviously my personal faith.

If you are now going to give me the speech about why if I'm such a believer did I become a mistress, do the hurtful things I did, why was I being such a "sinner?" Because that's the point, we're human and we all sin and sin is pleasurable and sin is attractive and I was weak and chose to do what I did. Wrong yes... But the God I believe it loves sinners, otherwise he wouldn't have done what he did so I could still be in relationship with him even when I am human and do wrong and awful things. That's my God, Jesus. Your God, I don't know what you consider your God, perhaps you have decided you are your own God, or there is no point because of whatever.

I do appreciate you viewpoints, but please stop asking questions about why your "God" or the God someone put in your mind "did such and such to you" or others to prove some kind of point that because there is awful pain in this world and because unjust and painful things are in this world THOSE are God's fault. Stop with the fault already, if you want to look for faults, look for your own first. Here was your choice, to treat me nicely and with kindness even if you did disagree with my request for prayer, or just ignore the post, but YOU chose to PURPOSELY create pain in another person and be insulting about it at the same time, simply to stir the tension. So, you seem to be playing that terrible god you ask those questions about - so... why are you so mean - why in your God choice of doing that or not doing that did you choose to hurt another human being when you know how much pain was in me in the first place. Stop playing games with people merely to amuse yourself here. Think what you want to think, but do not insult my request for help, regardless if it was asking for help in a means that you find pathetic. I don't really care if you pray for me or not, I care that you go around making a mockery of what others hold dear simply because you demand proof and defense of why your life or others or this world is the way it is. I needed help and encouragement, not belittlement of my reaching out for other's help to encourage my faith in God during my difficulties. I certainly don't have all the answers, but your comments to me were simply not helpful, and especially under the circumstances quite upsetting on top of an already upsetting situation I find my life in right now. A human situation I got myself into and wanted encouragement to get through things and heal. Obviously I believe God is a source I choose to look toward for life questions and answers and help as well as many others. If you don't believe, work that out on your own but don't tear my faith down to create some kind of debate for your own self satisfaction. That's just selfish in this case, you know i was asking for empathy and needed to feel less alone in my outreach for God and healing. Why stomp on someone's faith just because you can. In my opinion, in this case you liked being your version of your controlling negative God that hurts others just because he can. That's not my God. Please don't contact me if you choose to destroy people with your commentary when they sincerely need empathy and caring.