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Originally Posted by kgo
My boyfriends mom doesn't housekeep like my mother, and it drives me crazy. I live with my mom and her mom and they are both very "clean" people".. I don't mean that we have no clutter, we can be messy at times but if someone is sick in the toilet it's disinfected with bleach and then with Lysol. I've picked up on these traits and am almost OCD with them. I have to have 4 pieces of toilet paper on a public toilet before I can sit on it (and that's a VERY VERy big emergency) and if I go to a restaurant I have to drink out of a straw to avoid touching my lips to the glass. My house is spotless in the sense that there is no dirt on the floors, everything is always wiped down and cleaned after it's used - even if it doesn't look dirty. I usually stay at my boyfriends on the weekends since we live an hour away but when I'm at his house it drives me crazy. They have 5 animals and there house is just not as clean as mine. If things are dirtied (someone is sick, an animal bleeds or throws up) it's not cleaned up very well. There is a lot of clutter, dust, dirt and stuff everywhere. I can't even go in the basement or I take to sneezing non-stop! Dishes are not rinsed off before they are put in the sink and they are the type of people that don't wash their hands before they prepare a meal, and they just let food touch the bare counter/table even if it's not clean. I feel horrible about myself for being so 'judgemental' and I feel so so bad about not liking going out there, because they are good people but it just makes me all panicky that there are so many gross things. They just never ever clean! I can't bring it up with my boyfriends, I feel way too guilty. I'm pretty good at school and stuff, sitting at the desks that other people do, I just try not to think about how many germs are on there - I have my good days and my bad days, but I can't ignore them at their house. I mean, how can you set food on the same surface that you use to put your feet up that have walked all over the dirty floors? Am I way too obsessive over germs or am I being a high maintence b*tch? I'm so worried that I'm being a terrible person and over reacting.
Ps - I wasn't always like this, but when I got bacteria poisoning and was extremely sick for almost a year I started becoming obsessive about washing hands.
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I do agree with you, it does certainly sound as if your boyfriends mother is unhygienic.
It is just basic hygiene to clean up vomit and clean it up thoroughly when and animal or human vomits be it anywhere in the home, the same goes for bleeding or tummy upsets ect. The lavortory should ALWAYS be clean, absolutely no excuse for not leaving a toilet clean.
As for preparing food WITHOUT washing hands and not having a clean toilet it really does sound appalling. I would just refuse to accept any food. If i saw that happening in a restaurant, i certainly wouldnt eat there again. Along with the dust and dirt, she does im afraid to say sound like a generally unclean woman.
There is nothing wrong with keeping a clean home, id say mine was spotless, i have a large hall way and kitchen area which is tiled all the way through, i mop and clean the tiles every two days with lemon disinfectant ..its pleasant for me and pleasnat for visitors to smell a nice fresh clean fragrance ...i do think a woman should take pride in her home.
I can fully understand your fears about this , especially as you have had a nasty stomach infection, i also had one after visiting Cyprus, perhaps its because they dont put tissue paper into the toilet to flush, you have to place it in a bin next to the toilet , 100 degree heat and unsanitary conditions all over the island and people dont wash hands after visiting the bathroom ...gave me a miserable stay in a clinic hooked up to IV drip !!, Still i do like the country.
I dont think there is anything wrong in carrying handwash, its just sensible, i have a little bottle of cuticura and skinsure, long lasting protection from bacteria , if im out and i go for coffee and cookies or something, i always place a blob on my hands before handling food, lots of people carry them now, they are so handy.
I do think though, especially after the tummy illness and seeing your boyfriends home you are developing some anxiety which could possibly get out of hand and slip over into obsessive thoughts and worries. I fully understand its harder as you have been brought up with a nice clean tidy home , which i think how it should be by the way. The placing of paper on a public toilet? i certainly wouldnt sit down on one and to my knowledge niether would anyone i know ..setting food on a surface is also dirty, feet shouldnt go on a table its bad manners and unhygenic.
If it continues to upset you, i wouyld explain to your boyfriend , as nicely as possible, your fears over contracting any bugs as your stomach has already had a severe bashing from the previous bug, or just refuse to stay. But in general if you feel you carnt drink from a glass in public without a straw it is becoming a problem.
Life should be enjoyed and this fear is preventing you from getting the most out of life so i would really look into seeing somebody who specialises in Anxiety disorders/OCD ect .
Best wishes