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Old 05-04-2008, 08:40 AM
C
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Quote:
Originally Posted by curly58 View Post
I have been married for thirty years and I have a problem with my husband flirting with my friends, women, etc... One time at the end of a wedding reception I noticed that he was missing along with my girlfriend of more than thirty-five years. I went looking for them for what seemed like 20-25 minutes and then they just seemed to appear walking down the hall (we were staying at a hotel). They were both drunk and he swears that he doesn't remember anything - of course we got into an argument -- but how can you argue with someone who claims they don't remember. This happened again last summer...we were at a party of one of my husband's co-worker's and my husband disappeared with his co-worker's wife (he was drunk again) I couldn't find them anywhere. About 10 minutes later they came from the house into the yard acting as if nothing happened. We left soon after and I was furious! Of course he claimed the next day that he doesn't remember doing that - he became very upset and started crying saying how much he loves me etc. I have been putting up with his flirting and gawking at other women and I am tired of living like this. I feel as if I can't trust him when he is drinking - if he acts that way when I'm around how is he acting when I'm not there. He did cheat on me 1x when we were married for 2 years and he knows how this almost destroyed me. I don't know if I can live with someone who I can't trust. When we go out I don't even enjoy myself - I'm always waiting for him to flirt or gawk and I can't stand living like this anymore. He is a different person when he is drinking otherwise he is a great husband and very supportive of me and our children. He only drinks when we go out or are at a party. This may sound naive, but do people really not remember things when they are drinking - it has never happened to me.
Having been married many more years than you have, I can imagine how you feel....His drinking is his excuse...He knows very well what he is doing and is using this as his shield.....Now it is up to you to either accept this or change it right now and never let it happen again....YOU and only YOU are in control.....If drinking is a problem, or his excuse, forbid it.....He cannot handle it, so he says, nor can you.......

Once you cheat it gets more acceptable each time.....He is being "da hot man" and let's face it....Women are crawling the walls to get laid and he is helping them out.....You should not have to tie a string to him, but if you have to do this to save your marriage....DO IT.....Take care and much love to you....Caroline.....
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