Seeing I have no use in getting a marriage counselor into a situation that they would take weeks to just try and figure out, I would say go with your gut feeling...I guess I did not like what he said about if you parted that he would not have all the material things that you have now...He should have told you how much he loved you and desired you and that would do this until the day he died...There is something missing here and I think you can feel it too.

20 years is a lot of years to waste but are they wasted if you have learned something that you should have known. You will have to examine you. Can you live without him? Is this a wonderful and passionate marriage and worth saving? So many if's that you have to work out yourself...

Years ago my husband could have had an affair but did not. I have often thought of this and as much as I loved him could I ever let him go...Honey, the answer from me would be NO. Despite what he might have done, we are joined at the rib...You must remember that this woman also had something to do with this but also keep in mind that what you and he have going for you as a couple must be strong and loving and be able to withstand what has happened...Only his proving to you how much he loves you and your believing him will make this happen...Much luck to you.....Life is not easy and try as we may there just is not any lesson to help us out along these lines....Take Care, Caroline