I never wanted children. Just wanted a few dogs, to travel, and relax. I generally don't like children; I liked my friend's kids and my nieces and nephews, but that was it. My husband was in agreement. His family would have a field day with us; "Who's going to take care of you when you're old and he's blind and you're deaf?" Jokes and blah blah blah. People said we were selfish. I said, how are WE selfish? People say, We WANT a baby. I WANT a baby. That's selfish, just having something because you want it, not because you'll be a particularly good parent or that your circumstance in life affords it.

So we were married, got a puppy, travelled, and relaxed. We were far from bored. We don't like a lot of stress (there's enough of that in life in general) and we were just pretty laid back. Then 9-11 happened, and affected us directly. We started to realize that being with our friends and family, and having friends and family, is really the most important thing in life, because you don't know when you may lose that. Not that just the two of us didn't make a family, or make us important, but something just shifted.

So after being married for four years, we started trying for a baby in September of 2002, and we got pregnant on the first try. We have one daughter, for whom I'm very grateful and adore. My daughter is like having a set of boy-and-girl twins. She's full of constant energy, determined, has a stubborn streak, a tomboy and a diva at the same time, and never, ever gets tired of talking or being in motion. I was quiet and read alot. So God has quite a sense of humor.

I will not deny I miss my alone time. There will always be background noise; the Disney channel, the sountrack from Annie; her playing with dolls or Play-doh and talking to herself. I am a stay-at-home mom. I was not given the gift of patience. There are no days off, there is no vacation, no sick time. I go away without my daughter, but I always think of her. You never stop worrying. Even on a day when you'd like to kill them, the minute you're in a crowded place and for a split second you can't see them, your heart freezes with a fear that you've never realized existed in you.

When you watch them sleep, with flushed cheeks and sweaty ringlets and perfect lips and noses, you are overcome with such a deep overwhelming awe that you were given this gift, this person that is half of you, that you don't feel worthy of it. And they let you remember that the world is full of amazing, interesting things. Every thing they discover is like you discovering it for the first time. You get to do silly things like go on carnival rides and go to Disney and see a rated G movie that looks cute and act goofy in the pool, because you're doing it with your child. You become closer with your family.

The Johnson and Johnson commercial that goes, "Having a baby changes everything," is not simplifying it. Your life changes totally and completely and is not really what it was before. But in the best of ways, in ways you can't understand unless you do it.

One little side note about the money... babies aren't that expensive. They aren't. If you have to work and put the baby in daycare, okay, there's a monthly expense of anywhere from $500-$1,000. But my daughter hasn't impeded any dream I've had of doing anything. Spontaneous sex and anything else you want does happen with children. I still have my fabulous shoes and flat-screen tvs and Louis Vuitton bags and go on vacation. You just figure it all out.

She'll be in school full-time next year, and I'll have my days all to myself. She'll get home at three every day. And as much as I'm looking forward to that, I know I'm going to miss her. If I got to go back and do it again, I don't think I'd change anything at all.