Hi Jacun

I very much feel for your situation. It is hard enough to go through a marriage break up without also having to cope with a pregnancy and up comming birth.

I think all of the feelings you are having are very normal given your situation.

He appears to be having a second teenagehood which is something I have observed with many of my friends ex partners, including my own, once they are seperated. He seems to want to throw off all family responsibilities now he is 'single'. this is not ok and he needs to be clearly told this. His children are still his children, even your unborn child, and he needs to be taking more responsibility.

He may feel that moving back to the family home after your c section is a bad idea as he may see it as a step towards reconciliation. However he still needs to provide emotional and practicle support to you and the children at this time. After all you didn't get pregnant by your self.

I understand your feelings of loneliness. In my situation I was the one who left but the loneliness was still very difficult. You would have had an image of what the rest of your life would look like and this image has now changed. This is a huge adjustment time for you.

I feel you should surround yourself with the people who love you and don't be afraid to ask for help.

It is also very early days yet, only three weeks. So who knows what the future holds. You weren't very clear about the circumstances leading up to your seperation so I'm not sure but reconciliation may still be a real option.

Do you think he would be open to the two of you attending counselling. It may help to work through the problems and even if it doesn't result in the two of you getting back together it may help you to have more of an understanding and also work through the issues of how to both support and care for your children together.

It sounds like he is walking away from a of a lot and I would be very surprised if he didn't live to regret it.

Try and focus your energies on your beautiful children and I promise you things will get better in time, what ever the outcome.

You may be going through normal stages of grief. They start with a feeling of numbness, like none of this is real. followed by sadness, anger and then acceptence. this is very normal and part of the heeling, although it feels so terrible while you are going through it and the amount of time it takes varries for all.

If it helps to use this forum to talk about what is going on and get advise I am glad.

I will check in again in a few days and see how you are going.

My thoughts are with you.

tt