I've read your other posts/threads.

It would be easier to say, mind over matter hey?

It would be normal to say keep getting assistance on the attacks, you are.

One thing i noticed, was this.

You are happy, calm when looking after those children, they love you and you them.

You are happy, calm when you have love from your dog and listen to it breathe whilst it loves you back.

I can therefore, only advise this.

Surround yourself with more love. You can't love those children and not see your sister.

You can't fight the world it is in a place of its own.

Do some volunteer work for Salvation Army something simular, instead of coming home from work and having that drink, not sleeping.

Volunteer with animals, even. Or, both.

Keep yourself busy with things that involve helping and loving and giving..

I can only feel that the more you do this, it will occupy 70% of your life, instead of 20% and consequently, the negatives will outway the possitives.

What do you think?

CW