i often work with kids on the higher functioning end of the spectrum - i would recommend the book, "thinking in pictures," by temple grandin. she's a university doctor with autism, and wrote what is regarded as the very first in depth first-person look at the condition. she talks about her experiences, habits, reasons for specific behaviors - and it's fascinating.

knowing nothing about your situation, i would just tell you that if your child is diagnosed somewhere on the spectrum, your challenge will be to consistantly - and constantly - determine the appropriate break between accountability & accommodation.

children with asperger's, for example, often act rude, insensitive, and selfish - when in truth they don't understand social cues, read body language, or experience emotional empathy readily.

but yet, like all other kids, they will also tend to be selfish at times - with or without the asperger's.

i have seen the most damaging situations to these children arise not from parents who fail to be understanding of the condition, but more often from those who are so understanding they fail to "parent."

these kids desperately need boundaries that make sense - which will be hard to learn, because what makes sense to them may not to you. they exhibit a lot of the same traits - especially in young years - as kids with OCD.

rambling a little here - any specific questions?

school - and middle school, especially, is often the most destructive time for these kids.