|
I'm 37 and have been married 5 years and my husband has always had a problem with premature ejaculation, it wasn't that bad when we first got together, but has gotten to the point over the last 2 years where he can't 'thrust' (go in and out) more than two or three times before he cums.
I'd had lovers before who did not have this problem and I was able to have regular vaginal orgasms during sex and even occasional multiple orgasms.
I've never had an orgasm during intercourse with my husband.
That's the background.
He is aware of his problem and sometime over the last year he has developed this 'fetish' of asking me about previous lovers during sex. I resisted talking about them, but I found that he became very excited when I gave in and would tell him a story from college or something, it even seemed to improve his erection strength which he struggles with since he is fairly large down there.
This fetish grew and grew, though he only seemed to bring it up when we were having sex or he was really aroused.
Eventually we were 'role' playing with toys, always at his insistence pretending they were other men. I thought it was harmless until he began mentioning one of his friends repeatedly, wanting me to pretend I was having sex with him.
I felt my resistance 'broken down' over the year or so of this constant fantasy of me having sex with another man. Yes I sometimes thought of previous lovers who were really good, but I never would've sought them out or dreamed of acting on it.
Long story short, my husband had his friend come over and set it up where we were all hanging out and he kept trying to get me to dance with his friend or sit on his lap.
I resisted and we got in a big fight over it. I felt bad and prudish for not being more liberated, though deep down I knew what he was wanting me to do wasn't right.
He kept setting these 'hang outs' over a few months and finally one night I had drank enough or was just in someway tired of being pestered, I gave in.
I had sex with his friend while he watched us.
Instant problems. My husband suddenly realized he didn't like seeing me have another man, especially as his friend did not have the performance issues my husband does.
We fought, he left the house a few weeks after, he accused me of sleeping with his friend again, which I did not, but almost wanted to to spite him, since this was his whole idea.
He's moved back in and we are working on it, but every time we have sex he wants me to tell him what it was like and he seems obsessed that I had orgasms with his friend and sometimes I want to tell him that it was better and that he's pathetic, just to give him what he seems to want to hear!
I haven't dared indulged his fetish though, I downplay how his friend was.
I could understand if he was wanting me to praise him and tell him how he was better, but it's the other way around, he wants to hear me say his friend was a better lover, it is crazy! Where does this obsession come from?
I've never ridiculed him because of his issue, in fact I've always told him how much I like his penis and how big it is, but when I do that he complains that it doesn't 'stand up' even though it doesn't bother me.
I've heard that's common for large penises anyway. It's like he wants to be ridiculed or thinks I'm lying and wants to hear the 'truth'.
I am going to demand we got to sex therapy or I am getting a divorce- which he will no doubt say it's because of his sex problems.
Has any other woman ever experienced anything like this or have any advice of how to handle him and his fetish?
I know I should have never gave in, I don't want his friend and I love my husband very much, what can I do?
|