World of Warcraft, and other MMORPGS (massive multiplayer online role playing games) are insanely addictive, easy as much as cigarettes haha. I've seen many people waste far too much of their lives on these things... In fact I didn't even play one for years after they were out (and I was quite a gamer), simply because I knew how addictive they can be and I knew I'd be enslaved. At one point about a year ago, I was bored and unemployed, and I just thought, why not give it a go. Whilst I have since stopped, I certainly wasted far too much time on it, often playing for 6 or more hours a day.

Now, the reasons for why this is addictive. Basically, RPGs offer constant rewards, mimicking the feeling that you are actually achieving something, you'll (your character) always gets a little bit bitter, and you always want them to be that little bit better. Alongside this action/reward structure, you also get to meet lots of people, and wind up interacting with them - so if you don't have much of a social life you will find yourself with a group of friends from all over the world, discussing your life, issues, politics, philosophy, obviously the game, etc etc (I was in a guild of pretty hawt ladies). So it can make it feel like you're not totally wasting your time because you are participating with other people. However, these people ironically cause you to waste more time, because you will want to be at the same level as the other people, if they accelerate and leave you in the dust you'll almost have to start over meeting people and such.

When I decided to stop playing, it was because I realised that I was flying around on my silly magic sword for hours, collecting ingredients for the possibility of being able to get one of many items that I'd need so that my weapon would be green instead of blue and do slightly more damage. I suddenly realised how utterly futile the whole thing was, and I pretty much quit there and then.

OK then, to continue this essay - addictions are difficult to treat from the outside - the addicted person has to want to change or no progress will be made. You're attacking him about what he's doing will just make him defensive, and beligerant. Issuing ultimatums leads to their stubborness saying "fine, if you feel the need to be that controlling, close the door on your way out". Later on, he will probably realise that he threw away one of the best things that happened for him for a game - but it will be later on, not when you issue the ultimatum.

As for finding out what he does on the web, I refuse to help you find out, as I believe that spying and intruding on privacy will only ever make matters worse than they are, and essentially I believe in personal freedom to the utmost extent.


Also, I don't believe that your security should be a reason to stay in a relationship you would otherwise have walked from. If you don't think you're relationship is working, don't keep watching rubbish daytime television and living a loveless marriage, get a job and get your own place, you will both be happier for it.

But yeah, try to understand the demon that you're fighting a bit better, it's not necessarily your husband, it's the game, and it's something that many, many couples struggle with.