hey thanks for your help, but i need to clear up a couple of things i am 40 he is 46 i have been divorced for 2 years, i know him for 12 months it taken that long to realise that we have serious feelings for each other, you know dont laugh but we feel like teenagers soppy and in love, but you can imagine his dissappointment feeling like his does about me and it all going wrong. i would never belittle him. it just knowing how to word things. i did at that point tell him not to worry things feel right all this will happen in time, to relax and try not to think about the problem to much as you say a vicious circle. i been round the block i do know normaly what turns a man on, so i have tried various things but it makes him feel bad when it goes wrong. i swear it the meds he is on, and i guess once he has been to docs to see we'll know more. sounds silly but i may be expericenced but you know i may not be all that i only been married twice so you know i cud be doing something better for him. sex to me is fantastic but it not the bee all and end all,would rather love him him love me and nothing i would not go else where, he worth so much i could not bear to lose him. but naturally it a big part of a relationship so we got to try first. you been very kind listening to me waffle on. #love rain