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Caroline
I neglected to add that you have to be in a high state of arousal to squirt.... So with this in mind a woman may think that she can control it but it is just the state of sexual readiness that she is in...I believe it is her sexual partner that controls her feelings...
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I totally agree with this... If your "sexual partner" can bring everything out of you, you will be totally arroused, in total trust of that person, no inhibitions, no boundries and willing to go where ever he takes you.
I think also, the reason why we can do it ourselves, is if we previously, or presently have/had someone whom really let the wild child out of us and consequently, sub-conciously that person comes to mind, or those feelings that we had do as we learn more about ourselves.
Your next partner may not cut it, in that department, early in the piece, rather later in the piece, but if he does, your mind will wander back to where you are at, so possibly you will in-deed let go.
But let's face it. If that partner does in fact make you feel total sexual desire, no inhibitions, not just sexual, then he created that, and will know all that goes with that, so fear doesn't need to set in....
CW