I guess, what I am seeking is to know whether others out there feel the same way. My sex drive was high when I first married - but outside of that it really never has been. During the excited part, I was anxious to please him and make him feel good and to be a part of his life. I don't view sex at all that way anymore.

My sister suggested a sex therapist. Maybe I ought to try it. I just can't figure why I feel the way I do. I can fantasize about him all day long and that is like the best part. When I get to the real deal, I just simply am not interested. Sort of like all the complaints about guys and their porn interests in a way, I suppose.

I see all of these actions. When we talk about them, he doesn't see them as fun, interesting or exciting. Strangely, what turns me on has very very little to do with being naked or touching the naked body. I can be fully clothed and turned on only to get naked and immediately turn off. So I am trying to grasp why that is. It's kind of like dreaming of the monster hot fudge sundae on the hot, sunny day only to get to the ice cream store and be so hot that the hunger pangs disappear.

Silly analogy, I know. But that is how I feel. When I mention some crazy fantasy like swinging on a rope over a lake together and rolling around in the grass, it sounds great until I picture us naked. Then I feel very stressed and turned off.

It's all very odd to me.

Apparently, I'm the only one out there that feels this way.

I'm seeking reasons why I don't have the "natural drive" although I can run pretty wild in my mind - yet what is driving me wild probably wouldn't turn on even the horniest of men.

I'm seeking a way to take what I AM interested in and making it work with my husband who is nearly on the opposite end of the spectrum. When my ideas come out of my mouth, he is turned off - when his ideas come out of his mouth, I am turned off.