You sound like two people.

One whom wants to come out of a "closet" of sorts.

And, two, someone whom views intimacy as simply "sex" and nakedness as "dirty, ugly, unattrractive"...

It could be stemming from the way you were bought up to view sex, but when you got with your husband, it was all "honeymoon" stages, so it was exciting and you therefore allowed other thoughts to enter your mind, which have long gone.

I imagine your husband is too scared to include intimacy and therefore, he "pokes" or you get on top, over, yawwwnnnn.... I am sure that he would love to embrase you, kiss you, and explore.

You very well may need to see a sex therapist to understand why you feel so "dirty" over the word sex, and consequently, the body naked.

I don't think any woman likes "sex" that is wham bam, thanks, got my jollies. It tends to just end up feeling like "sex" and therefore, "used" just as much as a man would feel the same.

But intimacy is totally different and if you can work towards getting yourself to that level, then you would see a different side to the word "sex", it is great to work on different ways, etc, but you have to "like the basics" first to want to explore.......

With "sex" as it is at present, why not wear a dress, no panties, bras and ask him to leave your dress on, and get out of the bedroom, try something different see, if it brings back memories, whilst still feeling clothes and ask him not to show himself, ie) bending over a lounge, him kissing your neck first, etc, you can't see him naked then.

Anything is worth a try.

You are not going to find easily a man whom simply wants friendship and no sex, all most an impossibility...

CW